Stop Making Me Want To Break The Rules
by Dazzling
Summary: Fifth and final installment in the series. It's the whole big ending thing. Angst included for fun.


Author: Dazzling

Email: glitter_and_glam@hotmail.com

Disclaimers: I'm not DPB. Dammit. Songs belong to Phil Collins, Enrique Iglesias and Christina Aguilera.

Summary: Fifth and final story in the 'Stop Making Me' series, finished six months after I posted the fourth, hehehe. It's the whole big ending thing. Angst included for fun.

Timeframe: The day after 'Stop Making Me Miss You Like This'.

Reviews and Feedback: I'm a junkie. I live off them. You wouldn't deprive me of my life source, would you?

STOP MAKING ME WANT TO BREAK THE RULES 

0730

Harm's Apartment

_"How can I just let you walk away_

_Just let you leave without a trace_

_When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh_

_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

_How can you just walk away from me_

_When I all can do is watch you leave_

_Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain_

_We've even shared the tears_

_You're the only one who really knew me at all…"_

Harm woke up with a groan, reached over, and slapped the button that would shut the clock radio up. He didn't know how his radio had come to be tuned to a station that would dare to play Phil Collins, and at that moment, he honestly didn't care. His mind was preoccupied – guilt, anger, regret and anger again flowed through him.

"Oh, Sarah," he said, near tears as he remembered the last time he had seen her; the fury flashing in her eyes, the hurt mixed in with it even more painful to see. He winced, recalling the things she'd said to him in the heat of the moment, and the hateful words he had tossed back at her.

Harm got to his feet, shaking his head as if to try and dispel the memories that threatened to break him. Stumbling out of his bedroom, half asleep but unwilling to try to find slumber again, fearful of the dreams that would haunt him, Harm made his way to the kitchen and fumbled around making breakfast.

He wanted to go in to work, but knew that he couldn't do the one thing the Admiral had demanded of him after his confrontation of Mac in her office. He probably would not be able to be civil – not to Mac, should she happen to go in, not to the Admiral, nor to any of his colleagues. Better, then, to stay home and wallow in the misery that had engulfed him for the past twelve hours. True, it was pointless in getting him anywhere, and it sure as hell wasn't making him feel any better, but Harm could wallow with the best of them, especially when he knew that the reasons for his wallowing were not entirely the other person's fault.

He turned the radio on once more, knowing from previous experience that country music was the best for sorrow. At this point, he'd settle for a bad rendition of any Garth Brooks or Neil Diamond song – anything to take away the images in his head. They flashed, over and over again, each displaying the hurt look on Mac's face when he had reminded her of her failed relationships.

_"Monday night and I feel so low_

_Count the hours, but they go so slow_

_I know the sound of your voice_

_Can save my soul_

_City lights and the streets of gold_

_Look out my window to the world below_

_Moves so fast and it feels so cold_

_And I'm all alone_

_But don't let me die_

_I'm losing my mind_

_And baby just give me a sign_

_And now that you're gone_

_I just wanna be with you_

_And I can't go on_

_I wanna be with you_

_Wanna be with you…"_

"Perfect," Harm muttered sarcastically, making sure the blinds in his apartment were still pulled down before he sunk down to the floor, letting the reality of yesterday sink in yet again. He had lost Mac. The only person he had ever truly cared about in that way, the only person he had ever wanted to care about. The one person who made arguing into playful bantering, work into fun and kissing into a opening of the soul.

The phone rang, interrupting both the song and his reverie. Picking it up, he answered with a barely coherent "Rabb."

"Commander Rabb, I see we're not yet ready to interact with the human race again," the Admiral's voice came pouring down the line to him.

"Truthfully, no, I'm not, sir," Harm replied.

"Well, neither is Colonel Mackenzie, from the look of things. Harm, I'm not going to ask what the hell you two were fighting about. I have a pretty good idea, and I don't need little details to fill me in. All I have to say is this, and I hope to God that for once you'll listen. She loves you. Loves you for you, and all your faults, and screw-ups, and obsessions. I can see it, everyone in the office can see it, hell, even you saw it. And I know that you love her. You love her, for everything she is, and everything she's been through. So when two people are as obviously in love as you two are, it is unfathomable to me, or any other sane person, why they aren't together."

"With all due respect, Sir…" Harm tried to protest.

"You will listen to me, Commander, that's an order. I know you two have had more than your share of differences. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone at the moment, most of all me. I also know that the idea of living without Mac in your life is more than you can stand. So call her, and apologize, and profess the undying love that everyone but you has been able to see that you have for her. Because trust me son, you don't want to deal with that sort of regret."

The phone clicked, and went dead. Harm stared at the receiver, dumbfounded. He took a moment to smile at the situation – the Admiral, whom Brumby had once accused of also loving Mac, had phoned to give him advice about his love life. He thought for a long time about what his superior officer had said, about what had happened in the past twenty four hours, about his life so far and what the rest of it might be like. And he picked up the phone.

0945

Mac's Apartment

The glass in Mac's hand slipped, shattering to a million pieces on the floor, when she heard the phone ring in the next room. Cursing, she picked her way gingerly over the broken shards, and grabbed the phone up, praying that it wasn't the one person she really wanted it to be.

"Mackenzie," she answered, slightly out of breath from her dash into the room. There was silence on the other end. "Hello?" she demanded, only to be greeted with the slightest sound of someone breathing. Frustrated, she sighed and was about to hang up when a quiet voice came through the line.

"Mac? It's…it's me."

Mac took a deep breath. For once in her life, she had no idea how to act around the person who had at one time made her feel comfortable in any situation so long as he was there with her. The pain of what he had said to her was still fresh in her mind, and the guilt of what she had accused him of was wearing her down. "Something I can do for you, Commander?" she finally asked icily.

"Mac, please…don't make this harder for than it already is."

"Oh, so talking to me is a chore now?"

Harm sighed. "I'm not going to get into another argument with you, especially over this. Just come to my apartment as soon as you can. Please, Sarah?"

Something in his voice made Mac bite back the retort that had been on the tip of her tongue, and his calling her by her real name almost made her heart stop. She exhaled slowly. "Alright. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

She hung up without the pleasantry of a goodbye, and flopped back onto the bed, wondering what she was getting herself into.

1010

Harm's Apartment

Harm heard the door open, and checked his watch. He moved silently out of his bedroom and stood there for a minute, lost once again in the sheer beauty of the woman who stood in his living room, the sunlight from the half-opened blinds dancing across her face and hair. Her brown eyes weren't sparkling like usual, but then, he figured that they hadn't lit up with happiness much in the past day. They were also puffy, despite her attempts to hide it, and Harm realize that she was hurting as much as he was.

He remained there for a moment longer, and then walked out, causing her to turn around and fix those eyes on him. There was no anger in them, he saw, no resentment. There was nothing. They were blank, giving no hint as to the emotional war playing out inside her. "You're late," he said softly, jokingly, trying to break the ice.

"Five minutes and sixteen seconds," she replied tonelessly, but with the slightest hint of a smile tugging at her lips, "but who's counting?"

Harm moved across the room so that he was standing next to her, near without being too close. He had no idea what to say to her, wanted things to be back to normal but didn't have the slightest inkling of how to go about putting things right. They stood there in the silence for a while, each one wondering if it would ever be the same between them again. Knowing that this might be the only chance he would get, Harm went first.

"Mac…", he began, then stopped when he saw her shaking her head. He noticed that her eyes had were now swirling with emotion.

"No, let me," she said. "All my life, I wondered what true love would be like. A few times, I thought I'd found it. I never even knew what it was about. I thought it meant never having to say you're sorry, like that movie. I had this idea that it would be a guy on a white horse coming to save me, because I wanted so badly to believe in fairy tales. Then I grew up, and I knew that it'd never be like that, not for me anyway. So I gave up on true love, and just wanted to find someone who might simply like me for me. That never really happened either, and I gave up on love all together. I got engaged, sure, but it wasn't for love. It was for the security a relationship would offer me.

"And finally I found it. Found true love. And I knew that it was the thing I had been dreaming about since I was little. But in my dreams, the other person always returned the feelings. So while I wanted that chance more than anything, I pretty much all but gave up on it too. And then it happened. For just a little while, I got my dream. I got the guy, got everything I wanted. And I got it taken away from me, just as quickly as I found it. That hurt more than anything. So I've spent the past twelve hours promising myself that I'll never fall in love again, because it doesn't lead anywhere. And then I walked in here fifteen minutes and forty one seconds ago, and broke that promise."

Harm was speechless, able to do nothing but watch as the woman in front of him poured her heart out, tears she had tried to hold back slipping out and rolling down her cheeks.

"It…it was me?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, the tears falling freely now. "It's always been you."

He reached out and pulled her into his arms. "My turn?" he asked, his voice muffled by her hair. She nodded again.

"Okay. When I walked out of your office yesterday, I thought that I had walked out on my only chance with you. I know the things we said to each other can never be taken back. In a way, I don't want them to be. Because no matter how much I try to deny it, a tiny part of what you said is true. I do run away, from things that I think I can't control, things I'm too afraid to face. That's part of the reason we got this point. I was afraid to face up to how strong my feelings for you were.

"Last night, all I could think about was how much I didn't want to lose you. I was so sure I had. Lost the one person I wouldn't be able to stand losing. I spent a lot of time deciding if a relationship would change anything between us, because before anything else, you are my best friend, and I wouldn't give up our friendship for anything. And then I realized that there would be nothing better than having my best friend, work partner and life partner all wrapped up in the same Marine package. So I'm so grateful you broke your promise, because you're the only person who has ever made me want to break the rules."

  
Mac looked at him, smiling through her tears. He searched her face for confirmation, then asked "Care to try again, slowly, from the very start?"

"Definitely."

2030

Three Days Later

Random Bar In The City

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you know it is our 'Talent Night', so please welcome tonight's up-and-coming singer, who is sure to go far…Scarlett Alia!"

The crowd, including Harm and Mac, cheered as a young woman of about twenty took the stage, smiling shyly and waving at someone in the crowd. Her midnight blue evening dress swept around her feet, and her curly brunette locks were captured up in a silver clip. She raised the microphone to her mouth. "Hi, everyone. Thanks for having me here tonight. Um, I am going to perform some of my own material, but first I'd like to do one of my favourites."

Harm looked over the table at Mac. "Did you do it?"

"Yup," she said, smiling. "Finally gave him his ring back. He actually took it quite well. Said he figured it was only a matter of time. Did you?"

He grinned. "Yeah. She, ah, didn't take it as well." He laughed. "I was afraid for the lives of my chairs and plates." Mac smiled again.

Scarlett nodded to the guy sitting at the keyboard at the back of the stage, and he played the first few notes of the song. She lifted the microphone once more and began to sing.

_"When I'm lost in the rain_

_In your eyes I know I'll find the light_

_To light my way."_

Harm stood up from the table he and Mac were occupying. "Dance with me, Sarah?" She nodded, and accepted his outstretched hand. They walked onto the dance floor, and Harm took Mac into his arms, swaying with her to Scarlett's powerful voice.

_"When I'm scared, losing ground_

_When my world is going crazy_

_You can turn it all around."_

She looked up at him from the comfort of his embrace. "Harm? What's going to happen now? I couldn't handle going through…going through it again."

_"And when I'm down you're there_

_Pushing me to the top_

_You're always there giving me all you've got."_

"We go back to the beginning and try again, I guess. Everything moved so fast before…let's savour it this time."

_"For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you."_

He twirled her, then pulled her back close, not wanting to let her go ever again. They both fell silent, listening to the words, finding the truth in them.

_"When I lose the will to win_

_I just reach for you_

_And I can reach the sky again_

_I can do anything_

_Cause your love is so amazing_

_Cause your love inspires me_

_And when I need a friend_

_You're always on my side_

_Giving me faith, taking me through the night."_

"It'll be different this time, won't it?" Mac asked, snuggling against his chest, letting the lyrics, the music, and the moment wash over her.

_"For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_I turn to you."_

"Yeah, it will," Harm replied, wrapping his arm tighter around her waist. "It'll be different cause we'll make it different. We'll make it work."

_"For the arms to be my shelter_

_Through all the rain_

_For truth that will never change_

_For someone to lean on_

_For a heart I can rely on_

_Through anything_

_For the one who I can run to_

_I turn to you."_

She smiled at him, and closed her eyes. He held her close and they danced, oblivious to anything else but each other, knowing that this time everything would turn out the way both had dreamed.

_"For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you."_

FIN

A/N: Finally, it's done! This end part was originally going to be a bit longer, and much more angst filled. But do you know how hard it is to write angst when you're listening to 'Thong Song'? Thanks to everyone for the reviews and support for the entire series…it was my first, and I'm quite proud of it, despite the titles (hehehe).


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